"Men with men, women with women" is the standard announcement to form small groups at a prayer meeting we sometimes attend. Albeit archaic, it is a practical request. A mixed group of unrelated males and females may limit the openness of sharing prayer requests.Most Muslims are brought up in a honor/shame based worldview. The women carry most of the responsibility in making sure that the family is not dishonored by inappropriate relationships between males and females. In conservative Muslim circles men and women don't even maintain eye contact. So, gender segregation is the norm in ministry to Muslims. This is what we wrote in 'Your Muslim Friend': "Due to cultural values it is wisest for Christian women to befriend Muslim women and Christian men to befriend Muslim men. Some of these cautions become less important as we become grandparents or our hair turns grey." See also: http://joyloewen.blogspot.ca/2015/09/segregation.html
Christian women have access to the 'inner house'. Men are normally limited to the living room or sitting room, especially overseas. The women are ushered into the 'women's area' almost right away but men will only be invited in if they are 'part of the family'. As my friendship deepens with a conservative Muslim man, he may say something like "You are welcome to come to my house anytime, even when I'm not home." It means he trusts me.
Muslim men have high regard for their moms and grandmothers. Recently I asked an English class who had influenced them most? Without hesitating, the men responded, "My mother." One of my acquaintances even wrote a poem about his mom. We asked "Did you ever write a poem about your wife?" He chuckled and said, "NO!" Frequently my wife returns home from a visit to a family and mentions her conversations with her friend's husband. She is considered at a 'safe age' to relate even to men. They confide in her much quicker than to me. My wife sometimes paves the way for me to have deeper and ongoing conversations with the man. Contrary to our western culture, as an older man I'm still viewed relevant by much younger Muslim men. Go figure...
Over the years, I've figured out many avenues of connecting with Muslim men. Besides English help, my friends enjoy going out for coffee so we can get to know each other. Others have enjoyed being invited to my home or family events like weddings. Some of my friends have appreciated help with assembling furniture or learning new skills like painting or auto-mechanics. Many of my younger friends love playing soccer or basketball. Recently I took a Muslim friend fishing. Occasionally I meet Muslim men who want to visit church out of curiosity or even to nurture a spiritual quest. As a starter, I've invited individual Muslim friends to a Christmas Eve service.
Several Muslim men God has directed me to lately show a spiritual capacity. One was deeply touched by the concept of God's love as he read from 1 John 3. The other has explored the background to the Bible and is attracted to the teachings of Jesus. The last time we met he said, "I love Jesus very much."
Lord Jesus, it is a privilege to connect with my Muslim friend. Help me to know how to share spiritually with him. Amen.
