"...say only what helps, each word a gift." Ephesians 4:29bRodeo Season has passed. Brave men ride bucking broncos that charge out of the gate. The experienced hang on for dear life but the novice is tossed off very quickly. And then it's over.
We don't want this to be the fate of our relationships with Muslims, do we? I want to cultivate them long term. But how does one avoid a relationship to be derailed?
A no brainer is not to say something that insults their religion or prophet. There may come a time when it's appropriate to bring up shortcomings in Islam to a friend who is moving towards Christ but certainly not at the beginning of a budding friendship. The old adage "It's easier to attract bees with honey than vinegar" applies here.
Taboo subjects at the Centre where I volunteer include religion, politics, and sexual orientation. Recently during the first summer conversation class I had each student write something special about themselves, put it into a bag, and then when all the papers were collected they drew one paper. The task was to find the person who wrote the statement. I discovered later that one student from Africa wrote "I love Jesus." Can't you picture the student who pulled his paper going around asking "Do you love Jesus?"
One lesson I've learned is to be careful about talking about a Muslim friend with another Muslim. You'll get further if there is trust that conversations won't be shared with other Muslims. I became inactive on Facebook because of this. I had ESL contacts from a closed Muslim country who wanted to befriend me on Facebook. I didn't want to risk losing an opportunity with individuals who would see who all my friends are.
Using a proverb in their language properly can have the opposite effect. I planned to buy something from a Pakistani Muslim from his kiosk in a mall. When he refused to take my money I reminded him of an Urdu proverb "the heart is not at rest when one receives something for free". So, I flatly refused to take the item I had asked for. Finally, he begrudgingly took some money. He was trying to honor me.
I watched a seasoned missionary to Somalis relate to them by telling stories. They were sitting on the edge of their chairs spellbound. I am learning to cultivate story telling. Highly desirable are stories that teach something. For example, one story that works is "the day I cheated in school" and the punishment I received. It really gets my friends' attention and is a good opportunity to talk about sin--my sin.
Get them curious--what do you do? If we play it safe, we may never have an opportunity to be viewed as a spiritual person who will pray or study the Bible.
Lord, help me to use wise and inviting words when I'm with my Muslim friend. Amen.
